Was it? Dead serious, I mean? How odd. I’m far more casual when it comes to offering up my children for self-delusion’s sake. Good looking out; much appreciated.

You are making this harder than it needs to be. A note, if I may? Just a thought, but you might want to suss out the difference between irony and sarcasm. I’m not judging you. Nuance can be difficult to master. If it helps: irony has the unintended consequence of incidentally making the point through missing the point; sarcasm connotes actively rebutting the point by exploiting the point. An illustration, if I may?

In my dichotomy — my choice between two opposing things — I can:

— teach my son respect to protect your daughter. <deafening silence on this beautiful day of God’s creation; the birds are flying, the sun is shining, and all things are as they should be>

— or —

— teach my son respect to protect my son. <SWEET BABY GODDAMN JESUS, IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT’S HOLY, WHAT ARE YOU THINKING!!! All will be lost! Human discourse as we know it is over! Black women are going to ruin EVERYTHING if they can’t raise decent people! Oh, the horror, the horror. When we cure racism it will be all for naught, I fear, for these selfish creatures you’ll have left is with. What sorcery hath doth loosened upon us, father of my fathers?)

Me thinks the dichotomy is not your problem, kind sir. Your problem, I do believe, is its beneficiary.

In this exchange about the dangers of shifting your burden to me and then helping me to accommodate it — pardon me, helping me to become a better person— wearing the face of a “friend,” you have been a blessing. Your embraced every single reason calling yourselves “White Allies” must end. The things you do in the name of allyship are not just wrong but dangerous. The practice must end.

Thank you, Dear Remarkl, for your service.

************

Pop Quiz: how many examples of irony, and how many examples of sarcasm, are illustrated in this week’s episode of “You Dropped Your Racism, May I Get That for You”?

************

Until you learn to identify this truly horrid means of social engagement, you’ll want to dial back on the heavy-handed condescension in my re-education. Damn it, I did it again. You’ll want to dial back helping me.

You’ve spent a lifetime anchoring your every consideration around you. I’ve spent a lifetime watching you do it. When you feel the urge to step out of your lane and into mine, resist. The universe is speaking to you.

And I believe it is telling you to be quiet, my friend.