OK, so this is where I struggle - that's true of the whole human experience. Nothing any of us do in the public eye is done in isolation. Small pieces are always owned by different factions. When I speak, I am Black, I am a woman, I am a lawyer, I am a mother. All of those thing converge in me but are parsed into isolated pieces by my audience. Each, member, in his or her own right, has the right to engage me from his/her wedge.

So, I draw my line differently: if you were silent on this issue from your wedge before, don't engage me now. Race is always - ALWAYS on that list, but the rest come and go depending on the topic.

For example, I once had a white mother engage me about something I wrote in my race work about acts I took as a mother. That shit was 100% fair. "Sit down White person" would have been way out of pocket. As a mother, her participation litmus was satisfied, and engage we did.

But, first, none of it was "don't tell me what to do with me kid." I'm way too much of an opportunist for that. You better believe I took that opportunity tell her about what SHE was doing with HER kid.

But more importantly, next, that invitation isn't open-ended. We sparred right up "x should be true for your black son, given Y about my white daughters." And that was the moment All. Brakes. Pumped. #IllegalLaneChange

Instead of saying "you don't have the right to go there," what I said was "I'mma need to see your papers on all the OTHER race engagement before I grant you the right to engage me on race." There will be no discovering race on my watch, thank you. At that point, it was perfectly acceptable to say "naw, boo - White 1st timers need not apply."

I like that b/c it's historically driven not race-exclusive. I believe that's fair where "no whites wanted" is not.

P.S. Why that dude behind Bree what'shername look like Andy Garcia, tho?