I was thinking about you the other day on that string where I asked you about 2021. Do you recall it?

The article it was attached to was a call for examples of interactions where a white friend engaged to help, but (often “unwittingly” w/a blind wink) causes harm. The point of the asking for examples was it’s hard to walk well-meaning people through missteps, and examples help.

A genuine and introspective woman commented. We’ve spoken often. She recreated the misstep so aptly, I thought her to be joking. Her response, essentially, was: if we could get individual trauma victims to soften their focus on their own trauma, and instead unite through a common appreciation for empathy, that army could turn on & combat racism.

I didn’t counter the point — it’s a common but cute theory w/GINORMOUS holes the self-infatuated seems to miss (everyone is a victim of some trauma, so that’s just an army of the broken and needy w/some Klansmen in it — AKA, the U.S.). Rabbit hole.

I stayed focused on my point. Racism is abuse; let’s do baby steps. The first one is stop the abuse. So, back to what I was saying … She focused on hers. No, what I meant was … On the third iteration, I quit. I’ve asked for X, said twice “that’s Y; let’s focus on X.” Three times, on your way past “yeah, but…,” you insisted, a twiddles ironically, that if we only did a better job caring about each other, we could figure this out. If I asked for a role play on my original post, this would be it. She deleted her side of the exchange.

Now, your engagement: that was an interesting presentation that helped me hold then tilt your prism. Your experience has added a new dimension to my awareness.

My point: you live life in the way we hunger to co-exist in with our compatriots. They are as similar to you as a hammer is to sugar. I only know two things. I love you for showing me the picture is real. I stay gripped with angst, growing daily, over the same as unachievable among my kinsmen.

I can never stop trying. We’re taught — quite literally — not to. But I can do it with the knowledge that true love is real.

Thank you. Thank you very much.