“And that, my friends, is when 2021 whispered ‘let’m fuck around and find out, then.’”
I am TOTALLY DYING right now. I'm like, "wait - how come when I say 'chihuahuas are aggressive,' you somehow have ZERO problems appreciating I don't mean *ALL* chihuahuas even though I didn't say *SOME* chihuahuas, but this shit right here leaves you flummoxed?"
Like… let’s jump ship to another subject. Whenever I have discussions or speak about my disagreement (to put it mildly) on the use of corporal punishment of children, the people that disagree come out of the woodwork to be VERY defensive, angry, ugly as if I had spoken to them specifically. As if I had said “hey YOU, yeah specifically you there, you are a bad person and I condemn you"
Rebecca Rowan Forté
Looking for comment illustrations.
I am writing a race engagement piece about when efforts to help become efforts that hurt. I am ISO cut and paste response text or screen grabs of experiences like this.
Here are some specifics:
I will be discussing when race help hurts, by example, here on Medium.
When we hear “hurt” or “pain,” we imagine an injury from malice or intentionally mean-spirited. That happens, sure. But just as often, you can be going along nicely and BAM — bouncing betty; that’s that. …
Like, not real real friends, but fake real friends with a means to an end like — oh, I don’t know — a Brett Kavanaugh Keg Party kind of friend? That kind of friend?
Like, not real real friends, but the ones your mom makes “for you” over coffee with the new neighbor who has a boy your age named Carol who wears his shirts backwards, and there was that one time when you saw him pick his butt then his nose? That kind of friend?
This is not a “come to Jesus moment.” Jesus didn’t want anything to do with what I’m about to let loose here.
When we elected Barack, I ached with hope. Aspiration. Pride. Black America didn’t have to shrink anymore. Didn’t have to make ourselves small to get along. Didn’t have to use our church voice all day, every day so as not to threaten or offend. We could just be regular people. Regular just like you.
The same was so very much not true with Kam though, no. I am pissed. Really pissed. We didn’t have January 6th coming. We…
A genuine change agent focuses on controlling the behavior. A disingenuous change agent focuses on controlling the discussion.
1/Victim blaming (“To be fair, you did . . . “) 2/Blameless abuser (“It’s how I was raised; not a big deal where I’m from”). 3/Misidentification of ownership (“This affects you . . .”). 4/Misidentification of burden (“. . . but I will help you with it”). 5/Misdirection (“This is offensive. How about saying ‘not all’ . . .”). 6/Platform sharing (“Doesn’t my opinion about this matter?”). 7/Abuser self-centering (“This whole thing is making me uncomfortable”). 8/Victim hijacking (“This isn’t fair to…
To support a wide range of readers, I am recording my entire library for download or streaming. Narrators are engaged readers who volunteered to help bring these stories to life. The article’s text version is here:
Two Americas in One White Nation (“TOWN”) — Part I. A “knock it TF off and pull yourself together” series about the building of a national family.
⛔STOP. If straight/no chaser isn’t you, back out & keep scrolling⛔
Private Counsel. Former DOJ-CRT, Special Litigation Section, Public Defender; Adjunct Professor (law & undergrad). Developed Race & Law course.