4 KIDS, ALMOST~ 30YRS LATER, EXCEPT 4 $$ MARRIED 2 THAT MAN.
GET. A. HOUSEKEEPER. Keep it moving.
Decades of struggle for free. AFFORD IT, like you afford food. Hell, take his $ (literally) to do it. That’s the deal — he pays for his freedom. YOU hire a wife.
When I say I was you, I was you but your like is comparatively calm. Also, I’m an idiot. I thought I could “change” him, teach him, maybe grow him up? Kept having more kids — eventually it would kick it right? Ha! H.A.T.E.D. HIM. Not strong anger. Full on, double-barrelled shotgun fantasy hate. Toaster in tub hate. Getting the picture (is there a marital statute of limitations on criminal thoughts?)
To drag him from his 24h gaming/no cleaning/house full of hungry kids WHO COULD TALK while I was working full time and in law school, I tried everything, across the spectrum: counseling, sending his mother pictures, going on a trip unannounced, shopping and meal planning, microwaved his gaming stuff, snipped all internet wires, (I had my own), other various legal and potentially illegal stuff I’ll not put it writing, let alone on the net. Bottom line: nothing worked.
And nothing would. It’s true — they don’t change change. I now know why but would have never wasted my time since I only learned it as a means to get to the do it now part. And of course I was leaving him. No infidelity, nothing at all like other people — who had time for that? I told you; I hated husband him after being “duped” by perfect pre-husband him.
So I hired a wife. Quite accidentally, really. And the clouds parted. Changed EVERYTHING. He even perked up a bit (but <shrug>).
Almost three decades later, we have four great kids and I write to you now from an ocean front room in a lovely honeymoon locale after he surprised me with a ticket to join him for a two-week work thing. We’re quite successful, laugh, shrug stuff off, are fights are more realistic
HIM: I was just going to say--
ME: Hun. Does this look like a face w/ a question? I said 5m; close the door please.
Take him where he is, and stand on his head (wearing stilettos) to reach what you want. No clue if it works universally, but it sure as hell feels effing fabulous. And works magic for us both.
